Michael J Tansey, PhD
  • Introduction
  • Expertise
  • Approach
  • Locations and Fee
  • Publications

                312-560-1353    1723 N Dayton St  Lincoln Park  Chicago, IL 60614     

How Do I Work?

          Each person or couple comes with a unique set of problems--sometimes with a particular notion of how they may want help, sometimes with no idea what to expect. One side of the spectrum includes those who require immediate assistance making a decision or mapping a strategy for an urgent matter they may have to face, even immediately upon leaving the first appointment.  Consider the example of the person who has reason to believe a marriage proposal is imminent, but is deeply confused about how to respond.  Roll up sleeves, dig in.

          Many others understand they need some time of self-examination to make sense of such things as a pattern of continually self-sabotaging their own success in their intimate or occupational lives, whether or not to stay in a marriage, grieving the loss of a loved one, rediscovering a sense of joy or purpose in life.
            
          Why can't I commit?  Why do I feel so rotten when my life seems like it should be so great?  Why do I care so much about what others think?  Why do I push people away?  I love my husband but you would never know it from how I treat him.  How do I overcome my shyness and anxiety that constantly get in the way?  How do I deal with my teenager's recklessness and defiance?  Why do I consistently find myself in abusive relationships?  I get furious, then feel incredibly guilty, but I can't seem to stop myself.  How do I deal with my abusive boss?  Why is nothing ever good enough?  How do I find  balance in my life?  I'm lonely but I'm about to throw in the towel that I will ever find someone.  My biological clock is ticking but my boyfriend can't seem to make up his mind.

            People have a right to expect results without having to wait for months or years.  My approach is one of very careful listening, active engagement, and personal responsiveness.  I am very direct, both in responding to questions and asking them.  I also see it as my responsibility, when necessary, to push people look at themselves in a different way in order to understand and be accountable for their own actions, not merely a victim of outside circumstance. When someone becomes aware of how they may unknowingly contribute to their own unhappiness, it opens up new possibilities for change that would otherwise be impossible.  While the bad news is that becoming accountable often entails painful awareness, the really good news is that it allows a person to do something about it.


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